when i'm tired | adrienne shamszad

“When I'm Tired”

I had a really bad breakup when I was 28 that ended a really painful relationship. It needed to happen because my soul was getting crushed under the weight of the other person’s addictions and anger, and I was losing myself in my codependence. The relationship had become a mess, the breakup was vitriolic, and it took a really long time to purge the person out of my body and my spirit. But you know, we do sometimes like to suffer more don’t we? After a few months, I went back a couple more times just to, you know, make sure he knew I was really serious… When I’m Tired is the song that I sang to myself after I decided I didn’t want to do that anymore. I wanted to be all done, but I still had these icky craving wanting feelings so I sang about them instead of acting out. It worked really well! I hope this song can be that thing that replaces a person’s urge to go back to a toxic, abusive relationship.

Breaking up is a journey. In some cases, like the one that prompted me to write this song, it is a series of strengthening exercises followed by moments of humiliating desperation.

I had a really bad breakup when I was 28 that ended a really painful relationship. We had been broken up for a few months. It was an explosive, brutal experience to break free from the relationship, and staying broken up was just as hard at first. Some exes you just should not text. Period. Ever again. One night, after faltering in my resolve more than a couple times I got serious about it and picked up my guitar instead of the phone and wrote this song. It was my ultimate gift to myself - “When I’m Tired” is the story of the post-break-up struggle. So whenever I sang it, I could go through the journey and remind myself exactly how the story ends. Plus, singing my songs would always be more fulfilling to me than a sad hookup with my not-so-nice ex. May this song reach your ears whenever you need to remember NOT to pick up the phone and text your ex.

Listen & Lyrics

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